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And so is mr 2LT derek lim who slept in my bunk last night. Now i admit i can still stand a lil of snoring here and ther..but mr derek lim-who-snored-like-a-pig was just as loud as the new audio system in zouk. I swear i could still hear the gorr gorr sound in my lil head whenever i closed my eyes. Being in the army for quite awhile, and encounter numerous such incidents, i have come out with a few solutions..
Ways to counter a snoring champion
1.Use yr leg to kick 1 of the lockers or just make any loud sound so that somehow the guy will subconciously wake up and thus stop snoring...
Warning: Studies have shown that this will only work for approximately 2mins (results varies frm person to person..personally i have come across a record of 10 secs)
2.Wake the guy up (and i mean really make him awake)and then quickly go to yr bed and hope that u will fall aslp faster than he can snore
Warning: U may encounter a hostile friend the next morning.
3.Try to flip the guy and let him sleep on his side.
This is tested and proven on specimen no.1367 mr 2LT clement ong who is the loudest snorer in the world today.
Drawback: The snoring will come back to haunt you if he flips back to sleep on his back.
4.Take a identified foreign object (preferbly not a dildo as it might choke) and put it into the snorer's mouth.
Warning: Studies have shown that the snorer might have a 75% chance of waking up and discover that it is you who have put the thing into his mouth and f you upside down left right center x2 .
By the time u have finished all the methods listed above and still are not being able to achieve the desired sleep that u have been wanting all along dont worry because u will become quite tired then u will suddenly fall aslp and then realise its morning already.
I went to the studio and waited for like 20 mins before anyone was available to serve me. Finally i was seated down and was told to choose between like 10+ photos which was taken.I wld call the person who served me captain planet.
Captain planet:"Oh hi, erm wow..yr photo shd come in oct to collect u now then come ar?"
Me:"arr yeah.. quite busy mah..haha(reluctant laugh)
ZZZ
*PALM TO FOREHEAD*
Captain planet:"oic..erm u noe who is who between all these photos?"
*there was a lot of photos of my course mates inside the folder together with mine
Me:"oh ya there it is!" (after quite sometime scrolling dw)
Captain planet:"erm wait ar i find the ball's photos too.." (went off adding in the photos of the ball)
Me:"erm develop 1 how much ar?" (i thought shd be at most less than $10 considering they do some digital touch up)
Captain planet:"Oh..now we have a promotion lo..u develop 10 photos make into an album only $180 leh, take the offer la.."
*PALM TO FOREHEAD* ccb so exp!!
Me:"erm then 1 how much ar?"
Captain:"er 1 $18 leh for 5R.."
*HUH
*PALM TO FOREHEAD* x 2
Me:wah kao so exp... "erm i tik i just develop some can liao..some of the photos are repeats wad.."
Captain planet:"erm take the 10 photos album la, cheap cheap wad..u take those photos once only leh.."
Me:nnb u think i print dollar notes 1 ar.. *cough* "eh no la..i think i juz go with just a selected few ba..eh btw 4R how much ar?
Captain planet:"4R? 4R not nice la..5R better wad? 4R is $12...$6 diff only wad
*PALM TO FOREHEAD* x 3
Me:nnb i wash 5 photos add up to $30 lo.. "eh i think i take 4R la.."
Captain planet:"erm ok lo..(sounds disappointed and walks off to talk with another colleague)
wah kao..dun take the album then attitude change
Me:"erm ok i take these and these and + this can"
Captain planet:"ok lo.."
Me:"erm when can collect ar?
Captain planet:"erm nxt mth 10th lo"
*PALM TO FOREHEAD* x 4
wah kao so long!!
Me:"eh ok thks"
Me:"btw soft copy leh?"
Captain planet:"1 $8 for 1 photo"
*GULP* swallows a big gulp of saliva
*PALM TO FOREHEAD* x infinity
Me:"ok nvm."
I pay $ then zhao liao.
I dedicate this song to all u people out ther..
Captain Planet, he's our hero,
Gonna take pollution down to zero,
He's our powers magnified,
And he's fighting on the planet side
Captain Planet, he's our hero,
Gonna take pollution down to zero(x 2)
Earth!
Fire!
Wind!
Water!
Heart!
GO PLANET!
(music fades to background)
A neutron dance for a neutron fan;
Marionette strings are dangerous things,
I thought of all the trouble they bring.
An eye for an eye, a spy for a spy,
Rubber bands expand in a frustrating sigh.
Tell me that shes not dreaming.
Shes got an ace in the hole,
It doesnt have meaning.
Reality used to be a friend of mine,
cause complete control, I dont take too kind.
Christina applegate, you gotta put me on.
Guess whos piece of the cake is jack gone?
She broke her wishbone and wished for a sign.
I told her whispers in my heart were fine.
What did she think she could do?
I feel for her, I really do.
And I stared at the ring finger on her hand,
I wanted her to be a big pm dawn fan,
But I had to put her right back with the rest.
Thats the way it goes, I guess.
Baby u send me
Set adrift on memory bliss of you..
Behind a blind of plastic plants;
I found the lady with the fat diamond ring.
Then you know i can't remember a damn thing.
I think it's one of those de ja vu things,
Or a dream that's tryin' to tell me something.
Or will i ever stop thinkin' about you.
I don't know, i doubt it.
Subterranean by design,
I wonder what i would find if i met you,
Let my eyes caress you,
Until i meet the thought of missess princess who?
Often wonder what makes her work.
I guess i'll leave that question to the experts,
Assuming that there are some out there.
They're probably alone, solitaire.
I can remember when i caught up
With a pastime intimate friend.
She said, "bet you're probably gonna say i look lovely,
But you probably don't think nothin' of me."
She was right, though, i can't lie.
She's just one of those corners in my mind,
And i just put her right back with the rest.
That's the way it goes, i guess.
Baby you send me
Set adrift on memory bliss of you
